


The Hills

by SwiftDemise



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Accidental Drug Use, Angst with a Happy Ending, But mostly lots of angst, F/F, F/M, Finn Bashing cuz he's a tool, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Minor Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Slow To Update, eventual g!p Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-05-06 16:31:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5424083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwiftDemise/pseuds/SwiftDemise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by The Weekend's "The Hills" and it's Remix versions featuring Eminem and Niki Minaj. </p><p>Lexa is secretly fucking Beverly Hills princess Clarke Griffin while her Rock star boyfriend is away on tour. </p><p>Or the one where Lexa is an alcoholic addicted to pain meds who denies being gay but is secretly fucking Clarke who is engaged to Finn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Your Man On The Road, He Doing Promo

Lexa is on her Harley riding through downtown LA when she spots a familiar face on one of the billboards.

Finn Collins, along with his band mates Bellamy Blake, John Murphy and Nathan Miller of the rock band The 100, grin down at passing motorists. The billboard is promoting their tour of the east coast.

She doesn't know any of them personally and has no desire to but they do have several acquaintances in common which means she is more aware of them than she'd like to be.

 

Lexa is kind of a Jack of all Trades. She's a DJ by night and a damn good one but a fierce costume and stage name allows her a bit of anonymity. She is also a lyricist and does a bit of screen writing for TV. She's most famous for her song writing, but not as famous as the people who actually sing her songs.

She's had a few hit singles on the charts but her stuff is sometimes too gritty for a world driven by pop music and teenage boybands.

She used to be in competitive motocross which is where she first gained a little fame, then turned to minor stunt work that only lasted about a year before an accident on the set of a Michael Bay movie sent her to the hospital. The injuries she sustained put her in physical therapy for a year and a half.

 

Staring up at the Billboard, Lexa can't stop the scowl. She doesn't know Finn Collins but she knows he's an asshole, cheater and she burns with a jealous fury every time she sees his stupid face.

Although that last part might have to do with the fact that she is currently on the way to his fiance's house in Beverly Hills.

Clarke Griffin was the gorgeous blue-eyed blonde who didn't seem to really belong in Beverly Hills but somehow managed to navigate celebrity status with the grace and charm of a princess. She had a PhD in medicine, was a brilliant artist with her own gallery and she wasn't a half bad actress or singer.

According to People magazine, she came from a long line of highly regarded doctors and was something of a prodigy but chose to follow her heart and pursue art as a career instead but often volunteered her services to Doctors Without Borders.

Normally, Lexa didn't pay much attention to those types of magazines but she just happened to glance at the rack as she was walking up to the counter at the gas station and had seen the blonde on the cover.

The photo of Clarke Griffin wasnt even provocative or sexed up. It was just the girl wearing a doctors coat and stethoscope. The coat had paint stains all down the front and Clarke was smiling while holding a human skull that she appeared to be painting.

That was the first time she had ever seen or heard of Clarke Griffin.

Lexa finally met Clarke two years later when the blonde showed up at an audition for a show that Lexa would be writing on.

 

Pulling up at the security gate of the residential community, Lexa hands her ID to the guard and then sends Clarke a text while she waits for the man to run her info.

LEXA: I'm at the security gate, which one is yours again?

CLARKE: 1012 Loma Vista, white one.

LEXA: got it

CLARKE: Raven and Octavia are still here. Bout to leave tho.

Lexa thanked the guard as he handed back her identification and sent her on her way.

As she wove her way through the houses in search of Clarke's, Lexa wondered what the girl's friends would say upon seeing her. 

Octavia is a successful UFC fighter and sister of The 100's lead guitarist, Bellamy. Lexa had DJ'd at one of her victory parties in her Commander costume. She'd almost ended up making out with the younger brunette but the girl had gotten fairly drunk and spent a good portion of the night making out with her Coach's son Lincoln, who is a UFC fighter in the men's division.

Raven is a mechanic with no celeb status to speak of but she's known Clarke for years after an accident put her in the care of the blonde's mother Abby Griffin.

Lexa too, had been cared for by Abby Griffin after her stunt accident and had met Raven who still occasionally went in for physical therapy when her leg gave her trouble.

 

The aforementioned girls were just walking down the front steps when Lexa pulled up in the large driveway.

Clarke standing at the top of the steps, looking beautiful as ever and pretending to be surprised as she stood there in her bathrobe. "Lexa, what are you doing here so early? Is there a problem at the set?"

For her part, Lexa doesn't much care about playing games especially since she's pretty sure Clarke's friends know what she's really doing here but she isn't about to make a scene either.

"My apologies for showing up unannounced. There was a slight script change, yes. You know how Marcus is, it was of the utmost importance that I get the new script to you immediately. Hello, Raven. Octavia."

Lexa didn't miss the raised eyebrow Raven gave her or the eyeroll from Octavia but both girls greeted her politely.

"Hey, Don't mind us Lex. We're just heading out to catch the boys concert in New York tomorrow. Early flight." Raven responded as she pulled their shared suitcase behind her and handed it off to their driver.

It was an awkward few minutes as Clarke and Lexa stood on the front steps seeing the other two girls off with Octavia sending them both a wink just before the door shut.

When the car pulls away, Lexa feels Clarke move away from her side and to the door, "You coming?"

Lexa nods her head and follows the blonde inside, glancing at her watch before closing the door. It's 5:29am and Lexa Woods is about to fuck Clarke Griffin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked please leave a kudos or comment. 
> 
> Not sure where this is going or how long it will be. (Probably not long)
> 
> Also possible G!P Lexa, I haven't decided yet. I will probably bump up the rating the if I go that direction so you've been fairly warned. 
> 
> No beta either.   
> Follow me on Tumblr if you'd like: swiftdemise22  
> Thanks guys


	2. I'm Just Tryna Get You Out The Friendzone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Switched to Lexa's POV more fully this chapter.  
> Felt better to write it this way.  
> Short chapter again.

 

  
You've been to Clarke's house so many times in the past few months that you could probably give tours but she still leads you through the foyer into the main hall and offers you a drink. 

 

You always request the same thing, whiskey on the rocks. 

 

You let her know you're going to use the bathroom under the stairs and she tells you to come find her in the art room when your done. 

 

It's like a routine. Enter house. Have a few drinks. Admire art. Go upstairs. Fuck. Go home. 

 

You don't have to pee every single time but you use those 5 minutes to settle your nerves. You always feel a bit nauseous when you arrive at her mansion and your left shoulder starts to throb so you take your pain meds with a handful of water from the tap. 

 

 

When you get to Clarke's art room, she is sipping at a glass of red wine and studying what you assume to be one of her more recent works in progress. 

 

Your whiskey is sitting on her desk at the far end of the room and you don't waste any time emptying the glass. 

You note the magazine on her desk, it's the same one you saw earlier today that announced her engagement to Finn Collins. 

 

"Congratulations." You mutter, loud enough for her to have heard but quiet enough that she could pretend she hadn't. 

 

"Don't start Lexa." 

 

You lean against the desk, holding your empty glass silently wishing she had a butler to fetch a refill, "I'm only congratulating you on your engagement to-"

 

Clarke spins around and glares at you, "I said don't Lexa, it's not what you're here for and let's not pretend like it matters to you whether or not I'm engaged."

 

"Don't marry him."

You don't actually mean to say it, but the jealousy from earlier still burns in you. 

You can tell she's surprised to hear you say it as well, she's knows you too well. 

 

You shrug your good shoulder and elaborate for the both of you, "I just mean, everyone knows he's an asshole. You deserve better."

 

Clarke sighs, "Why are we talking about this?"

 

You set your glass down, hard enough that it makes her jump at the sound and you try not to read too much into that reaction. 

"Fine, upstairs then?"

 

She nods, "Yeah, you want a refill?"

 

"Please. I'll be right up after I take my meds. Shoulder is throbbing again."

 

A look of concern crosses her face and she starts to reach out to you, "I could take a look at it for you if you'd like?" 

 

You wave her off, "Don't worry about it. I'm sure I just slept wrong. I'll see you upstairs." 

 

"Okay." 

 

You watch her collect your empty glass and head out of the art room, before a thought crosses your mind and you call out, "Bring the bottle!" 

 

She shakes her head as she exists but you know she'll have the bottle upstairs waiting for you. She knows you too well. 

 

You go back to the bathroom under the staircase and take your pain meds again.

To be honest your shoulder had only started to throb again when the conversation had gone to her engagement with that jackass.

It occurs to you that perhaps you've developed a tolerance to the meds again.

 

Dr. Griffin was reluctant to up your dosage last time you called and you wonder what she'll say if you call again. You wouldn't have to call if she'd just give you something stronger to begin with.

Or longer lasting. 

You think about asking Clarke to write you a prescription but quickly push that aside. You've already crossed too many boundaries when it comes to Clarke. 

 

 

 

Upstairs, the pain meds make you a little sleepy but a shot of whiskey burning down your throat revives you. 

You can't help a glance at the clock on the night stand but you don't think about how much longer you've been here than is usual for these trysts.

 

Clarke kneeling on the bed and pulling you towards her sends the rest of your thoughts scurrying away. For the time being at least. 

 

When you get home you'll have a few beers, take your pain meds because your shoulder will hurt again and you'll take a nap on the couch because for some reason you can't get the smell of Clarke's hair out of your pillows. 

 

Sometimes, Clarke will have a cigarette with you and the two of you pass whatever bottle of liquor is handy, back and forth. Like liquid courage before you face the rest of the day. Sometimes you'll go another round, but then you have to take your meds again because your shoulder ends up throbbing from the exertion.

 

You don't really like the look she gets on her face when you're taking your meds for a third time even though you've told her you only took half a pill before coming upstairs. She does it behind your back but sometimes you'll catch a glimpse of her in the vanity mirror while you're swallowing the pills. It's a look of concern but it feels like judgement and so you don't often stay past that first round. 

 

This time is no different, though you do feel a bit rushed because the conversation downstairs put you behind schedule.

 

By 7am you're back on your side of town, pulling into your own driveway and stumbling into the house. 

You've been fighting off the drowsiness from your pain meds and finally collapse onto your couch with a six pack in your lap and the remote to your sound system in hand. 

 

You'd like to call in sick at the studio but you've got a meeting with the rest of the writing team later and then the group is going out for drinks. You need to do a bit of sucking up and bonding with the team if you hope to be considered for long term. 

 

You don't hear from Clarke for several days and you don't contact her either. Aside from brief glimpses of each other at work, the two of you don't interact much in the outside world. 

 

Finn is going to be on tour until the end of the year so there isn't any rush. Not that you would care if he came back tomorrow but Clarke demands discretion and you comply.

 

It's a month before you hear from her. 

You are just leaving a gig when your phone buzzes and you see her text message. 

 

CLARKE: down the street from yur place. Invite me over?

 

Your vision is a little hazy from the shots people kept sending your way all night and your meds aren't helping either.  

You shoot her a quick text response and then call for a cab, the last thing you need is to end up on the cover of some magazine due to a drunk driving scandal.

You aren't famous enough to survive the hit your career would take.


	3. When I'm Fucked Up, Thats The Real Me When I'm Fucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CLARKE POV! 
> 
> Backstory.
> 
> Lexa

I shouldn't be here. Why did I text her. What the fuck am I doing. 

Those words keep playing on repeat in the back of your mind as you sit in your i8 sipping a latte. It's 4 in the morning and you should be in bed but after being couped up in the house painting in a fury for 8 straight hours you just needed to get out and be somewhere else. 

You'd been pissed off nearly all day ever since your PR rep, Monroe called you at 8am to see if you'd seen the cover of OK! or Star.   
You were in bed so of course you had not but considering you'd spent the past two weeks either at home painting or on set you know it can't be you that's caused a scandal.   
Unless.   
You suddenly felt a little nauseous. 

Harper emails you both covers and upon checking them you see that it has nothing to do with you. No. Only your rock star fiance causing trouble in New York.   
Finn causing trouble is nothing new but usually it's dumb stuff like throwing parties without telling you first, being too aggressive at rallies against animal cruelty. Harmless.   
Not this time. This time Finn had chosen to pull some real Justin Beiber type shit and his mug shot was front page news.   
You wish you could say you were surprised but given how Finn has been acting lately, especially at home, you really can't.  
You'll blame his behavior on pressure again. Like you always do. You'll be the understanding fiance.   
But fuck. 

So now you're outside of Lexa's condo in Long Beach waiting for her to come home because you couldn't stay home anymore.   
It's a little out of the norm because usually Lexa is the one who contacts you even though technically you are the one who initiated this whole thing.   
You're a little embarrassed to say that you hadn't even known who she was until your mom had called to tell you about the part. Apparently, she'd been talking you up to Lexa and the writer had agreed to secure you an audition spot.   
You had immediately googled Lexa's name and were taken aback by how young and beautiful she was. The majority of the photos you found were from her motocross days and in most of those she was wearing her gear. The definition of stoicism even on the red carpet.  
You might have had a crush on the girl for a little bit. Attracted to the bad girl vibe and air of mystery behind that stoic facade. Honestly, Finn was sort of the same way when you first met him.   
Clearly you have a very specific type.   
After you'd gotten the part, you had searched for Lexa on set to thank her personally for giving you the opportunity to auction. She was polite but didn't say very much and you almost got the feeling that she didn't care for you that much until a few days later when she handed you a pair of free tickets to see some DJ at a nightclub. 

You had starred at the tickets confused for a few seconds, "Um-"

"There was a raffle. I don't need them but I can't seem to get anyone else to take them off my hands." 

You took the tickets from her and studied the name, "The Commander, are they any good?"

On occasion you went out with Raven and Octavia but you really weren't much of a party girl, so you really didn't know who the hot DJs were. 

Lexa smirked just a bit before responding to your question, "I suppose that would be a matter of opinion Clarke. I haven't heard of any complaints." 

Your friends were ecstatic when you mentioned the tickets. You'd been forced to buy a third ticket so that all three of you could go but it had turned out to be well worth it.   
'The Commander' was quite popular in the smaller venues, not quite David Guetta famous but definitely an up and comer according to Octavia.   
At some point during the night and after several drinks, your friends decided that they wanted to meet the mysterious 'Commander' whose face was painted as though wearing a mask.  
The three of you got close enough to see that the DJ booth was closed off with a pair of security guards blocking the way.   
Raven cursed, "Damn, now I see why no-one ever gets close enough to see The Commander's face." 

You thought that would be the end of it but you had severely underestimated your friends' determination.   
Before the night was over you had not only discovered who exactly 'The Commander' was but you'd also made out with her. 

The next time you saw Lexa on set, you had been prepared to comment on how different her nighttime persona was to her day to day but you never even had the chance.   
Lexa pulled you aside and in hushed tones, "I trust you'll be practicing discretion in regards to your experiences last night, Clarke. I understand that particular DJ prefers to remain anonymous."

You hadn't really known what to say so you'd simply nodded your head and watched her walk away.   
You ended up texting her later to meet up with you to talk.   
You really shouldn't have. You should have just let it end there.   
She shouldn't have agreed to meet with you.   
But for some inexplicable reason she did.   
You invited her over to your place for poorly made coffee and she accepted. Coffee turned into drinks and in the end not much talking went on.  
Lexa left that day with an open invitation to both your house and your bed. 

Sitting in front of her condo now, you can't help but wonder why neither of you seems to be capable of letting this go.   
You're engaged for godsakes. The date isn't set yet and yes, you might be having a few difficulties with Finn lately but still. When did you become this person who sneaks around on her fiance?

If you're honest with yourself, you really don't even know Lexa. Sure, you've picked up on a few 'habits' after, God, six months. You've been cheating on your fiance for nearly a year. 

You almost convince yourself to leave, getting as far as turning the car on before you notice a cab pull up behind you.   
You don't move until you see Lexa stumbling out of the back.   
She's drunk. Very drunk. She's mumbling something about outrageous cab fares when you slide up beside her, putting an arm around her waist to steady her. 

"Clarke!" She exclaims, "I was just- just thinking about YOU Clarke and you've ap- aperated."

"Lexa, you're drunk and talking too loud. Let's get inside." You say, half pulling her towards the stairs. 

Thank god Lexa is a woman of simple tastes because you're pretty sure if you'd had to drag her up more than a single flight of stairs, you would have collapsed. 

She giggles a bit and mumbles to herself and to you a bit more but otherwise you manage to get her up the stairs and after some digging for her keys, you both stumble through her front door. 

You leave Lexa sitting on the couch, while you go around and flip on a few lights. You almost decide to try to sober her up with a cup of coffee but then you remember that Lexa doesn't even own a coffee maker and the only non alcoholic beverages are a single case of bottled water and a half gallon of milk. 

When you go to hand her the water bottle, you find that she is sort of just staring at you brows furrowed. 

It's a little unnerving but you march right back over to the living room and hand her the water bottle.   
"Drink up, so I can put you to bed."

Lexa only takes a few sips before, "You really really are very beautiful Clarke. I was just think- thinking that just now."

You roll your eyes but still can't help the blush that warms your cheeks. 

"You're only saying that because you're drunk off your ass. I thought you were working, how'd you get so drunk?" 

Lexa laughs and pulls a large black flask out of her jacket pocket and tosses it to the side, "Gots lots of shots. Ha. I called the cab but then i gots thirty. thirty. Thirsty! Clarke. Lugly I come peppered." 

Well, that certainly explains it. Lexa never can seem to say no to a drink. If it weren't for the fact that she's holding down two, technically three jobs (if you count her song writing) you might assume she was an alcoholic.

"Plastered more like," you shake your head and drop onto the couch beside her, "I came to get laid instead I'm babysitting a drunk."

"Oh!" Lexa exclaims beside you, and then she's fumbling to unbutton her jeans, "App-apolgeez Clarke, notta worries I can still pleasure you."

"Lexa stop," you grab her hands to stop her, "It's fine really. I shouldn't have come in the first place."

Lexa pouted at you through droopy eyelids, "I like when you come Clarke."

You're a little thrown off by how verbally affectionate Lexa has been tonight. You can count on one hand the number of times she's paid you a compliment, not counting sex. 

"I think it's time we got you to bed. You aren't nauseous are you?"

Lexa shakes her head, "Noooope."

"Alright," you stand up and proceed to help Lexa to her feet, "C'mon, let's get you to bed."

Her room is just down the hall, which makes the trip thankfully short because Lexa isn't much help swaying this way and that. When you do finally get her to bed, she won't let go of you. 

"Not til you say you'll stay."

You sigh, "I can't stay Lexa, I'm not even supposed to be here. I need to go home."

Lexa frowns, "Clarke doesn't like me." 

You roll your eyes and pull the covers over her, "Of course I like you." 

"But you're still marrying Finn." 

Lexa's statement hits you in the chest. Part of you knows why she keeps bringing up the engagement. Despite Lexa's stoicism, there's always been a certain chemistry between you that always seemed to make your interactions fluid. Effortless. The problem is, until tonight you had always doubted whether the brunette even liked you as a person. Lexa treated everyone the same, polite but always at arm's length. 

You don't know what to say, you are still marrying Finn. You love Finn.   
"We agreed not to talk about this."

Lexa rolls onto her side, "Don't marry him." 

You shake your head and turn to leave, "I have to go. Goodnight, Lexa."

It takes almost an hour to get home, which is both a curse and a blessing. You start off with the radio on tuned to a Top 40''s station and for a while you're successful in just concentrating on the music and not thinking about anything else.   
About 20 minutes in, that all changes when a song you know to be Lexa's begins. 

Spent too much time on my own  
Don't bother waiting by the phone  
Just sitting here alone  
I've got no where else to go  
And I know I shouldn't miss you  
But since we've shared that kiss  
Now I've got the taste of your lips  
Nothing else is on my mind

You flip the radio off and spend the rest of the drive wondering when this whole thing got way more complicated than either of you planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coupla things. 
> 
> I don't know how to write what drunk people sound like. I'm usually the drunk people.  
> So if anyone has suggestions for me cuz that part felt kinda...meh.  
> Honestly this whole chapter felt meh. I was originally just gonna have them bang again but then I was like, why draw it out let's light a fire under this plot and get it moving.
> 
> Another thing, I was kinda surprised that no one mentioned the continuity error between my first and second chapter. Lol. 
> 
> No, those lines Clarke hears on the radio are not a real song. I pulled it from a shitty poem I wrote back in highschool. It worked and I was too lazy to write something else so just pretend it's Top 40's quality.


	4. I love it cause the thrill's cheap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I meant to post a new chapter before new year's but the holidays kicked my ass and I lost my train of thought as far as what this chapter was supposed to entail. 
> 
> This is mostly filler, getting back to Lexa and how she spends her day after. There's a tiny bit of her background to give you an idea of why she is the way she is that will explain how she is going to start behaving later. 
> 
> Hopefully, it's not too boring of a chapter and hopefully I'll have the next one up pretty soon. I post these as I write them so...

You wake with a familiar pounding in your head and the taste of stale alcohol on your tongue.

You don't remember much of the night before. You can recall drinking in the cab but things become a bit fuzzy after that. You know Clarke was waiting for you and vaguely recall stumbling with her up the steps to your condo. 

You doubt she got what she came for but you can't find it in you to feel bad about that. You've been left unsatisfied plenty of times, when her and her friends come to your gig's. Raven and Octavia never seem to quit until Clarke is nearly as intoxicated as they are. 

Thankfully, you have no obligations today. One of your rare days off from both jobs. 

You don't usually drink so much while DJ-ing but you also don't make a habit of turning down free drinks and last night it seemed as if everyone wanted to buy you shots. Mixed with the pain meds and it's no wonder the idea of getting out of bed is loathsome to you. 

You do force yourself out of bed though, because the need to pee has very abruptly overcome you.   
At this point you just say fuck it and brush your teeth before heading to the kitchen to find some type of breakfast. There's no point in wallowing in the bed any longer once you're up. 

You don't keep much food in the fridge because you aren't a very good cook to begin with. So you're stuck with choosing between cold cereal, a can of tuna or some left over Chinese food. 

The chinese food wins out, mostly because just thinking about the smell of tuna is enough to make you feel a little bit nauseous. 

You settle in on the couch, food in your lap and a six pack next to you (because the hair of the dog and all that bullshit) and flip on the TV. 

Nothing is on of course, except the news and reruns of the Kardashians on E!. You'd go to your grave denying it but you are sort of fascinated by them. In the same way that explorers are fascinated by indigenous tribes, right before they wipe them out and commandeer their land. 

You nap on and off while Kim whines about her lavish lifestyle for the next two hours, and when you finally do wake up fully she's gone and E! news is on.   
Your hand is hovering over the remote when a mugshot of Clarke's idiot fiance pops on screen. 

It's wrong to take pleasure in other people's misfortune but there's a grin on your face before you can stop it. 

This is why Clarke had come to you last night. 

You feel some sympathy for her, she's a genuinely good person even if the people she allows into her life are less than savory. Yourself included, but atleast you don't live under a spotlight like Finn's band. 

You can't even imagine what your parents would say if that was you on the news right now. They're very strict in their beliefs and even stricter with you. They don't really approve of your Hollywood life even if you've explained to them that yours is far from the glamour of A-list celebrities. 

You're just a writer after all. 

They don't even really consider that a respectable occupation but they prefer it to your motocross and stunt work days. You don't want to think about what they'd do if they found out about Clarke. Probably fly up here and drag you back to Georgia among other things.

You spend much of the rest of the day working on songs and trying out new mixes on your Mac. 

You've got some actual studio time scheduled for later in the week but prefer to have something to work from so that your time isn't wasted. 

Echo, the receptionist at the studio calls you efficient, always with a grin on her face so you know she means it teasingly but you don't see anything wrong with efficiency. 

She's cute and you have a feeling she likes you but she hasn't made a move and you won't either. 

Not because of Clarke. 

Because you don't date. Because you don't get involved with other women. 

Clarke is a fluke.   
A mistake you haven't had the willpower to correct. 

You almost wish your parents would drag you back home. They'd take you right back to Dr. Kwin and she'd "fix" you. Of course, your parents would never let you out of the state again. They'd bicker over whose fault it was that you'd fallen into such a sinful life. They'd both agree it was the fault of inbreeding on the side of your Father's grandmother.

You get a headache just thinking about it.

You wonder if Echo would still be interested if she knew as much about you as Clarke does. 

You wonder what Clarke is doing right now. 

She isn't on set because all of you have the day off while your bosses are in meetings with the network heads. 

You think about inviting her over but it's late in the evening and you haven't showered, much less changed your clothes from the night before. 

This has been, for all intents and purposes, the epitome of a lazy day for you. 

There are more beers in the trash than words on your notepad. 

Speaking of beer, there's a very good chance you might be nearing the end of the case.   
Which means a liquor store run.   
And you could probably do with eating something, which means going to an actual grocery store. 

You're suddenly wishing you had an assistant to do this for you. 

Then you remember the bottle of Captain hiding on top of the fridge.   
It's a last resort but it'll do, because leaving the condo to shop just sounds like too much work. You can order take out and pretend that you're being "efficient" again because these songs aren't going to write themselves. 

Clarke texts you later that night, saying that the two of you need to talk and asks if you are still awake. 

You're awake.   
But you're very drunk again and you may have mixed alcohol with your pain meds again but you can't remember. 

You toss your phone somewhere off to the side after she sends you a series of question marks. 

The last thing you need is to be talking to Clarke Griffin when you aren't in your right mind. You're liable to say something you'll regret and make a fool of yourself.


	5. You Got Your Sight Set On The One Who You Run To

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue heavy. Not really where I originally intended to go with this chapter and I really wasn't planning to drag out getting to the climax of the story but this was actually kind of an important step before everything falls apart for Lexa.
> 
> More notes at the end. Lots of notes. Lol.

You don't see or hear from Clarke for about two weeks, even though you responded to her a text, the next morning.   
It doesn't bother you. Why would it, you don't owe her anything and clearly whatever it is she wanted to discuss wasn't that important. 

You know she's been on set, because you've overheard other crew members mention how well she's been doing for her first real acting gig. How great she is with the other cast members.

You wanted to be irritated that everybody seems to think the sun shines out her ass. 

If only they knew her the way you do. 

It's not until the 10th day, that you find out why she never got back to you about the talk she'd wanted to have.   
Apparently Finn had come home to spend some time with her while the band was on a short break before their next concert. 

According to E! they'd been having romantic evenings all over Los Angeles. 

You really need to stop paying attention to celebrity gossip and taking it as fact, this is probably the exact reason why 95% of celebrity marriages end in divorce.   
Or something like that. 

You finally run into each other outside the writer's room after a meeting with Kane and the other writers. 

You're the last one out of the room when she rounds the corner and crashes into you. Several pages of her script go flying from her hands as she falls on her butt and you manage to grab a few out of the air before they scatter down the hallway. 

When you look down to offer her a hand up, she looks flushed like she's just been running. 

She takes your hand and pulls herself up, "Thanks, I probably shouldn't have been running."

"Probably not." You say as you hand her the loose pages, "Are you alright?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm supposed to talk to Kane about next weeks script but I got caught up running lines with Harper." 

You nod, "Our meeting ran longer than expected so you aren't late."

"Oh. Good." 

An awkward silence falls between you as she shuffles her papers back into order. You don't know why your still standing there with her. 

"I'll let you get to it then." You say finally and turn to leave.

"Lexa wait." 

You turn back to her, "Yes Clarke?"

She steps close to you and lowers her voice, "We still need to talk, I know the past few weeks have been busy but I was hoping you'd meet me for coffee later." 

You raise an eyebrow at that, 'coffee' never means coffee when it comes to her.

She must realize this because she continues, "real coffee this time. There's a place near by that isn't usually too crowded, maybe we could meet there after work?"

"Very well, you'll send me the address?" 

She smiles like she's relieved you actually agreed. You almost didn't. "Yeah, I'll text you." 

"I'll see you later then." You say and walk away. 

You should have said no. 

Whatever she wants to talk about, you have a feeling you won't like it. You are almost certain it'll be pertaining to her fiance. Things have been strange ever since she came over that night and you were too indisposed to be of use to her. Then again, perhaps she's ready to end this thing between the two of you. That would be disappointing because you aren't sure you'll find someone as good in bed as she is.

Or anyone who will understand you like she does.

The rest of the day passes quickly, you recieve her message with the address right as you are gathering your things to leave.

She's already there when you walk in, studying her script and sipping a large cold coffee. 

The place isn't very crowded but you still aren't sure why she chose a coffee shop to break up with you. 

Correction, she isn't breaking up with you because you aren't together. Fuck buddies maybe, except you aren't really friends either. The word 'affair' pops into your head but you ignore it because an affair requires feelings to be involved. 

She hasn't seen you yet, so you take a few minutes to order a green tea. The barista grills you on what you'd like in your tea and if you'd like a baked goods to go with it and are you a rewards member. You have to bite your tongue to keep from responding back rudely because you just want a simple tea. And no you don't have their idiotic punch card nor do you want one because you doubt you'll ever be here again. 

Clarke smiles at you when you finally approach the little table she's secured in the back corner. 

"Hey, Lexa." 

"Hello Clarke."

You don't bother taking your jacket off, you don't think this will be a long conversation. 

She looks nervous, which is strange, perhaps she thinks you'll make a scene. 

"I wanted to start off by apologizing for not getting back to you sooner." 

You shake your head, "There is no need to apologize."

"Well, I feel bad for ignoring you just because Finn was in town. To be honest, I sort of panicked because I wasn't expecting him." 

"You thought he'd found out?" 

Clarke's cheeks go slightly pink, "It's dumb, but yeah. I know we've been super careful about getting caught but it's like a constant fear that I have."

You glance around the little coffee house, because you need a break from just staring at her face.   
There's a knot in your stomach that shouldn't be there and you don't want to attribute it to Clarke or where this conversation is likely headed.   
You don't want to admit that you are also living in constant fear, but for completely different reasons.  
Or how at the same time you don't care if you get caught.

"Are we ending this then?" You ask, because this feels like its taking too long and you just want to know. 

Clarke appears surprised, "A-are we ending-? That's not what I'm saying." 

Now you're surprised and confused, "It's not?"

"No, Lexa."

So she's not ending your arrangement, but then what does she want to talk about? "So why are we here?"

Clarke shifts in her seat and looks away from you, gathering her thoughts you assume.   
You don't press her, choosing instead to take a long sip of your tea.   
It tastes like hot water and stale leaves. What did you expect? 

"Do you remember everything from the other night? When I helped you get home?" She's looking at you now, her face serious now. 

"I remember the cab driver was irritating and talkative which is why I turned to my flask. I recall you helping me up the steps. Things become...vague after that. You were in my kitchen and handed me a water bottle. I went to bed." 

"You don't remember sitting on the couch together while you drank that water?" 

You shake your head, feeling more confused and you don't like where this is going.   
"Clarke, if I said or did anything to offend you I do apologize, however I honestly can not recall because as you know I was extremely intoxicated."

Clarke sighs, "You didn't offend me Lexa but you did ask me not to marry Finn."

Fuck. What?

"That's hardly worth dragging me to this godforsaken coffee house Clarke. I've said on more than one occasion that he isn't good enough for you, something that I'm certain you've also heard from your friends Raven and Octavia." You're feeling defensive, you are starting to get an idea of where this is headed. 

She sighs, "The difference being they're my friends and I'm not sleeping with either of them. Their opinions are based on having met and spent time with him in a social setting. You, on the other hand have hated Finn since I told you he was my boyfriend."

You definitely don't like this.   
"That isn't true. I use the same studio as the band, I've disliked him since I heard his music."

"You're lying." She glares at you. 

Of course you're lying. You may use the same studio as his band but you've never heard a single song by them. You detest pretty boy rockbands. 

"What are you trying to get at Clarke, because I don't think you brought me here to talk about him." 

"I brought you here to talk about us!" 

What does that even mean?

"I don't understand. There isn't any us, we aren't dating and I certainly don't think we qualify as friends."

You can tell she is getting upset, her eyes are a stormy ocean shade of blue. Normally they remind you of the sky. 

"We aren't friends because you act like you don't want to be friends. You don't even acknowledge me at work unless Kane sends you with a script change."

"Friendship was never apart of the agreement. You wanted discretion. You wanted to avoid a scandal and now you're angry with me because I've been adhering to your wishes." 

Clarke rubs her forehead in what you can only assume is frustration, "Lexa, I just meant that we should avoid things like dinner dates, hooking up in clubs, being caught in compromising positions, that kind of thing." 

"Are you saying that now you want us to be friends? Publicly?"

"I want to know if you even like me? Because the only time you act like you enjoy my company outside the bedroom is when you're wasted." 

How do you even answer that?

"I wouldn't have agreed to this if I disliked you Clarke, but I don't know you. I doubt we even share the same interests." 

You aren't trying to be difficult, you really aren't. You just don't even know how you would go about being friends with Clarke. You've had exactly two friends in your entire life. One turned her back on you and the other died in a motocross accident years ago. 

"Lexa, you do know me. Maybe not as well as Raven and Octavia but that comes with spending time together. As far as shared interest, we both like Rum, Art, oldies and Game of Thrones." 

"So you want to be friends now?"

"Yes." Clarke smiles, like your finally on the same page. You really don't think you are. 

"And our other arrangement?"

"We can still do that but now we'll be friends. And just think, when Finn's tour ends he won't bat an eye about us spending time together." 

That knot in your stomach twists a little harder and you feel sick. You feel a little used, like maybe she is using the disguise of friendship to keep this thing going behind Finn's back. 

You should say no.   
You should tell her it's over as soon as the tour ends.   
Your shoulder throbs and you just want to get home and drown yourself in beers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to emphasize how stunted? (Is that the right word?) Lexa's life was before she left home and why she seems sort of closed off from people in general. 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think, or if you just want to chat about either my works/your works or the new season, feel free to hit me up on Tumblr.   
> I'm really trying to push myself to move this one along cuz I have idea for another AU. Anybody watch Joss Whedon's Dollhouse? What do you think of Lexa as a Doll and Clarke either a girl she saves while on mission or as a Detective who is investigating the dollhouse.


	6. So keep texting me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while and this is probably short but Clarke's POVs are really just extensions and expansions on what we've already seen the chapter before.

CLARKE POV

Finn coming home had been a shock, you weren't expecting him. 

He's in the kitchen making breakfast when you wakeup, acting like his being there is the most normal thing in the world.   
You suppose it should feel like that, but it doesn't.   
He explains that his PR rep thought it'd be a good idea to go home inbetween shows. 

Monroe calls you a few minutes later and tells you to enjoy a few nights on the town with your fiance. 

It's all publicity. 

Playing the supportive, understanding and good girl influence to Finn's quickly inflating bad boy reputation.

You don't get to hangout with your friends and you're too afraid to text Lexa back while Finn is in town since he stays attached to your hip the whole time. 

He's gone a day when you nearly run over Lexa at work, on your way to yet another discussion with Kane about last minute script changes. 

She seems both surprised and annoyed at the sight of you, while you mostly just feel flustered as soon as you meet her eyes. 

You've been trying to come to grips and understand exactly how you feel about her. You know you care about her and think you'd enjoy spending time with her outside the bedroom but you're a little hesitant because of how uninterested she acts on the day to day. 

Like you're just another co-worker she has to "deal with". 

As far as you know she doesn't spend time with any friends but does join the other writers and staff when they hit the bars yet never pops up in day after recounts of the night.   
Harper has mentioned offhandedly that she thought Lexa was hot, but as far as you know has never attempted to approach the brunette socially. 

Lexa easily accepts you invitation to actual coffee and you spend the rest of the day, figuring out what exactly you want from her. 

You know she plays things very close to the vest, but obviously must feel some sort of way about you if her recent slips of the tongue are anything to go by. 

She ends up frustrating you nearly right off the bat by being so obtuse. She then tentatively agrees to your offer of friendship before excusing herself to head home and sleep. 

You go home as well, thinking about what to do with Lexa now that you've agreed to be friends.   
You want to get to know her, even if a small part of you keeps warning you that none of this can possibly end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, wasn't intentional. I guess I lost the motivation and inspiration that had struck me when I first started this. 
> 
> I also started working on two other ideas, one of which is probably going to be a series of one and one-two shots which I've never done. 
> 
> Feel free to leave prompts on my tumblr.   
> I'm taking a temporary hiatus from watching the show, so no spoilers past 3.07


	7. Tryna Keep It Up Don't Seem So Simple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. This chapter was tricky but I think I finally got what I wanted out of it.  
> Plot is moving along a little bit more now.  
> Probably be another little what for Chapter 8, but I'm going to be working hard on it.  
> Hopefully this won't be but another 5 Chapters or so after that.  
> Thanks for reading and being patient with me. Hope you like it.

Life doesn't change all that much at first, after you agreed to be Clarke's friend.  
You don't see her outside of work for another whole week and then you both get invited to Kane's surprise birthday party that isn't really a surprise. 

Kane is a decent guy and a pretty good boss but honestly, you would much rather spend the evening at home with a 24 pack and your guitar.  
Clarke however, is convinced that it's the perfect setting for the two of you to begin a public friendship.

 

It's a dressy affair which you hate but you can't complain because you're the one who chose a Hollywood career.  
You rent a car and driver for the event because you expect that you'll be spending most of your time at the bar enjoying some topshelf liquor.  
You wear a floor length, strapless emerald dress. A flowy number that makes your eyes pop according to your neighbor who grows weed with his roommate. 

 

You're grateful that there aren't a lot of photographers outside, though you don't expect they'll be very interested in you anyway. Clarke is a camera magnet though, being a Beverly Hills sweetheart and all, so you have to be aware when you're with her. 

You shake Kane's hand and exchange a few pleasantries for atleast an hour before you manage to make your way to the bar.  
You haven't seen Clarke yet, but with festivities mostly underway, you're sure that'll change. Girls like her have a habit of arriving fashionably late. 

 

The bartender serves you a few shots of whiskey, and you down them quickly. 

The bar stool next to you becomes occupied by a shorter blonde in a grey sequined halter dress. It's not overly flashy but still not something that normally would have grabbed your attention. 

 

"You're Lexa right? Lexa Woods?" she asks you, after ordering a bourbon for herself. 

You nod, "I am. I apologize that I don't recall your name." 

She smiles at you, "I'm Harper, we haven't had a chance to run into each other very much at the studio."

"Pleasure to meet you finally. You share lot of scenes with Clarke Griffin don't you?"

"That's me." She replies sipping at her drink, "You know it's funny, I asked Clarke about you once and she said she really didn't know you that well but pretty much everyone knows you helped her get the part."

 

You tense a bit because the way she says it makes Clarke sound like just another rich girl who paid her way in. You don't like that assumption of her, like she's just another Kardashian type throwing her parents money at people to get famous. 

 

"I asked Kane to add her to the audition list that's all. Clarke earned her spot same as anyone else." You say, perhaps a little too aggressively because now Harper looks a little like you kicked her puppy.

"I-I wasn't trying to imply...I just meant, you know it's kinda of a crazy thing to do for someone you don't even know."

 

You feel bad for jumping down her throat, "I'm sorry, you're right it is a strange thing. It's not something I would do normally but her mother, Dr. Abby Griffin basically saved me from spending the rest of my life in a wheelchair. When she mentioned that her daughter was looking to audition for a few roles I knew it was the least I could do."

Harper is grinning at you, "That was a great way to say 'thank you', I bet she was thrilled when Clarke actually got the part."

You shrug, "I imagine she was, I haven't spoken to her in quite a while." 

 

The last call you made to Abby Griffin was to get her to refill the prescription on your pain meds which she had been very reluctant to do. 

You signal the bartender for another round for yourself and your blonde companion. 

"So how'd you get injured, if you don't mind me asking?" 

"I used to do stuntwork, mostly motorbikes. I was involved in an accident while working on a movie set. Certain safety measures had been overlooked and one of the stunt drivers was drunk." You take a sip of your whiskey, "I can't really go into details, there were multiple parties at fault and it was settled privately but I spent weeks in the hospital recovering and then almost two years of physical therapy."

"That sounds awful, it's lucky you weren't killed. I imagine there'd have been a huge scandal if it hadn't been kept quiet." 

You nod your head in agreement, "More than a few reputations might have taken a hit." 

Harper is leaning closer to you now, and her hand touches your arm, "I'm glad you made it through such a horrible ordeal."

 

It takes you a minute to catch up with the situation. You're making a friend...that isn't Clarke Griffin. And you aren't being a total asshole. 

 

You smile at her a little, testing out the muscles in your face. "What about you? What did you do before you got on the show?" 

Harper blushes, "Nothing nearly as exciting. I've done a few Indie films and a bunch of low budget horror films." 

"That's a great start. So this must be sort of your big break right?" 

"Pretty much." 

"I'm sure you'll do great."

 

There's a bit of commotion by the entrance that pulls her attention away from you for a second, but you don't bother to look. 

 

"I guess Clarke finally showed up."  
she says, "We should go say 'hello'."

You shrug and finish your drink, "I'm sure she needs to greet the birthday boy and make her rounds with the big shots. I'd rather stay here if you don't mind keeping my company."

 

The blonde brightens up at that and you almost feel guilty using her to avoid Clarke but you're also enjoying her company so maybe it's okay. 

 

"I don't mind at all, honestly it's kind of embarrassing but I'd been sort of dying to meet you ever since I found out that you're a songwriter too."

Now it's your turn to blush, "Really?"

"Yes, I just love that song you wrote for Halsey. The lyrics are so beautiful and the way she sings, it was just perfect." 

 

You're certain by now that you must be bright red, "Thanks." you mumble against the edge of your glass. 

Harper laughs, "Wow, you are really blushing. Not quite used to the spotlight either huh?"

You shake your head, "Not really, even when I used to compete in motocross it's not exactly a national pastime like baseball or football. Besides that, it's a different sort of crowd too." 

"You still ride though don't you, I know I've seen a bike in the parking lot."

"Yeah, that's mine. I'll give you a ride sometime if you want."

Harper's eyes light up, "Oh my god! Yes please, I would love that. Maybe we can hook up on a lunch break this week and do it!"

You smirk at the double meaning in her words. She catches it and slaps your arm, laughing. 

"You know what I mean!"

"Yeah sure, I'll give you my number and we can set it up." You dig into your clutch for your phone then open up the new contact screen before sliding the device towards her. 

Harper inputs her number and once you've sent her a text, the two of you go ahead and order another round of drinks. 

"You know, Clarke is throwing a birthday party for her friend, that UFC fighter. She invited a bunch of us from work, maybe you'd wanna come and be my plus one?"

 

That makes you pause, a party for Octavia will surely include Raven and you don't know how safe it is to be around them when you are certain that they are aware of your arrangement with Clarke.

 

You don't get a chance to respond though because suddenly Clarke is right there, her voice alerting the both of you to her presence. 

"I was just about to invite her myself." 

You both turn slightly in your seats to face her. She looks gorgeous in a flowing blue number, simple yet it looks outstanding on her. Her expression is friendly but her eyes betray her, a look of jealousy storming in those blue eyes. Harper probably can't tell but you can, and you almost feel like you got caught with your hand in the cookie jar. 

 

Harper, oblivious to the tension stands and gives Clarke a hug, "Hey, you finally made it!" 

"Hello Clarke." You say, taking a sip of your drink. 

"Harper, Lexa. I didn't know you knew each other." It comes out a statement but you know it's more of a question. 

Thankfully, Harper is chatty enough for the both of you. 

"We just met actually! Lexa was telling me that she used to do stuntwork and what an amazing songwriter she is. I hope you don't mind if I bring her to the party as my plus one?"

Clarke glances at you before returning her attention to Harper, "It's no problem, but just make sure you save a dance or two. I was going to introduce you to Bellamy, he's going to be in town for the night to celebrate with Octavia."

Harper just smiles, "I think I can squeeze him in."

"Good because I already told him that you're an excellent kisser."

You choke on your whiskey, coughing at the fire in your windpipe. Harper orders you a water as she pats you on the back. 

You wave your hand at her once you've taken a few sips of the water. 

You're embarrassed by your reaction to hearing that Clarke and Harper have kissed, but you probably should have known. You vaguely recall that there had been a lot of innuendo thrown about and subtext but nothing concrete. 

Clarke addresses you inbetween giggles, "Guess you didn't know our characters had finally kissed?"

"No I didn't know. I wasn't involved in that script apparently." 

Harper laughs again, "That was like 3 weeks ago Lex."

You shrug, "I've got a lot on my mind, the show isn't my only job if you recall." 

"Speaking of work, Harper do you mind if I steal Lexa for a bit?" 

Your eyes meet Clarke's briefly before settling back on the whiskey in your glass and you already know that this conversation will have nothing to do with work. 

Harper, blissfully ignorant of the tension between you and Clarke, waves the two of you off, "Go ahead, I'll go mingle for awhile." She finishes off her drink and stands, "I'll see you around Lexa."

 

Clarke waits until Harper has disappeared into the crowd before demanding you follow her away from the bar and other guests. 

You follow her out into the garden where the two of you are totally alone and you aren't quite sure that's a good thing. 

 

"So," Clarke spins on you, her blue eyes blazing in the moon light, "What exactly are you doing with Harper?"

"I WAS talking to her, am I not allowed to make friends?"

Clarke glares at you, "Don't bullshit me Lexa, are you seriously trying to get with my scene partner?"

"So what if I was? I'm not attached to anyone and Harper seems like a nice girl."

"I can't believe you, so what was your plan? Date her and keep screwing me on the side? Meanwhile, I'm making out with her every other scene at work. Real fucking classy of you Lexa."

You're angry now, because Clarke has no right to be trying to dictate who you date, "And your fiance? Where does he come in? Get over yourself Clarke, if I wanted to date Harper I'd have every right to and you have no grounds to question me when you're in my bed every other week behind that idiot Finn's back."

Clarke sighs, "You're right, I don't have any right. I'm a fucking hypocrite, you know what fuck you Lexa. Go ahead and fuck Harper, be my guest." 

 

Clarke storms off after that leaving you by alone In the garden cursing the situation you've gotten yourself into.  
You don't return to the party, choosing instead to hit up one of the few liquor stores still open at this time of night before going back to your condo. 

You pop a few pain killers because arguing with Clarke made your shoulder flare up and end up drinking yourself to sleep. The next day is spent drinking and writing an angry songs that you'll later deny have anything to do with the blonde. 

 

You feel a little better once Monday comes along and only slightly hungover from binge drinking for two days. 

Clarke very obviously avoids you which is just fine because all of a sudden Harper is just about everywhere you turn. It might be that now you have a name to put to her face, instead of just another body in the busy halls of the studio. You don't get too much time together at work, but she smiles at you in passing and you smile right back. It's kinda nice. 

She sends you a few messages throughout the week, inquiring about your weekend and how your songwriting is coming along. You don't mention the angry songs. 

Thursday the stars align in her favor and you get to have lunch together. 

You make sure to take your Harley to work that day instead of the Yamaha, figuring you'll start her out slow before putting her on your crotch rocket. 

The two of you go to a little cafe a few miles away from the studio and talk more about music. You almost consider telling her about your OTHER side job as a DJ, but decide against it for now. 

Thursday ends up being a good day and your shoulder doesn't bother you at all. 

Saturday, you pick her up from her apartment on your Yamaha and go out for pizza, a bar and then later a dance club. 

That evening when you drop her back at her apartment, you find yourself thinking about how this was a pretty great weekend.  
You also realize that you are actually looking forward to hanging out with her at Clarke's party. 

Those good feelings? 

They don't last very long. 

You shouldn't have gone to Clarke's party. 

Maybe if you hadn't, Harper wouldn't have kissed you.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr if you'd like to chat.   
> Swiftdemise22.


End file.
